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Why My Boyfriend Hates Me

Reason One

Mr Right Now and I* were talking. I want to buy a house in a certain disreputable suburb and rent it out. He suggested living in said house for a few years prior to renting it out. I scoffed.. “If I was single, 35 and living in a duplex in DisreputableArea**, I would probably kill myself.

Then it slowly dawned on me; he is single, 35 and living in that exact area.

Reason Two

I sneered my contempt for pet shops yesterday, passionately asserting that they were a veritable house of evil. He said his best friends own a pet shop. I said I was joking.

Reason Three

It’s just a matter of time for reason number three to present itself


* Clearly this is a friend of mine and not really me. I have a delicious husband.

** To prevent offense for people living in this area, it’s name has been withheld