This is what I need to sign to take over from the beautiful Jill who has followed her dumbass husband to IOM. Keeping to these pledge items is no small feat.

1.  Always be obsessed with hair and feet
2.  Always be obsessed with the sun (feel the need to sunbathe for about 7 hours a week)
3.  When with Mom and Leon, never pay for anything
4. Get drunk and throw coffee on Mom’s car
5. Get belligerent with Hilly
6. Throw name away whenever possible
7. Always ensure people do what you command them
8. Spell terrible (I think she means terribly in an ironic way)
9. Always throw in a stutter
10. Love and protect family, and most importantly love Claire and Caren
11. Do not ever invite Sharon to family functions
12. Give Claire and Caren open wardrobe rights
13. Make up silly dances when inappropriate
14. Always take and fetch sisters when needed
15. Don’t let sisters sleep at your house (haha)
16. Flirt excessively when drunk
17. Always have a fetish for shoes
18. Always think you are the hottest triplet
19. Always attack sisters pimples
20. Always think you are the most clever triplet
21. Make sure you take your laxatives
22. Write with your left hand at all times
23. Always wear boho clothes
24. Always hug the left hand side of the road and try not to indicate
25. Love Claire’s cat unconditionally and visit all the damn time!
26. Sleep overs are a must (but not at your house)
27. Talk at the same speed and pitch as the other triplets
28. Make Doug work shifts and visit Mom

Honestly, I don’t think replacing Jill is possible. Miss you booboo.